Once upon a time there was a noble man. He had a special touch with the ladies. he was the fear every bandit had. There is one false thing to this. He was no man he was, a bearded dragon. His name you may ask.  Well there are many answers to this question. Some call him  chupacabra, others call him el Diablo, but by most he is Lizwardo.  He is a great lover of his sword, his hat, justice, and a great Great Great Great lover of women. Now to join this devil on his adventures.  We start off with the Spanish lizard in the wild West. It was a hot blazing day the sun was beating down on you as if it had a whip.  Of course he was having a great restful day, basking as if the sun's whip was a soft blanket of warmth.  Then he hears a scream of the maiden in distress. He heard the sound many times before. So the sound he knew exactly what it was. A bandit mugging a beautiful lady.  He perked up and ran to get his sword of course he was already wearing his hat and his sword was on the cactus right next to the rock he was perched on.  So he was lucky that the bandit was right next to his house, of course the rock he was perched on was in his backyard, he's not to find any rock out of town for they have all been taken by the snakes and other reptiles that live in this town. His town name you may ask, well this town has no name because nobody ever thought it needed one it was already named bye what it was, the only town in the wild West for 10 miles. The the bandit was trying to take what he wanted of course it was a silk purse but what wasn't doing here in this run downtown? This place was not meant for fine silk. It was of course going to get stolen. There was no way someone from this town would be carrying that in the wide-open. Anybody in this town who would know better than that. Of course it was obviously an outsider, a foreigner. Nobody would come here on purpose.
       " Please let me go I was about to be on my way" said the damsel.
       "I know if you were on your way how would I get that purse of yours? I could get some mighty fine boots custom-made of course to fit my warty feet. Do you know how hard it is to find boots that fit these toad feet?" Said the bandit. I was sneaking up on him very quietly so my feet were barely making noise when they touched the hard dry dirt. Oh yeah sorry about the change in the person telling the story.  Now I assume that other dude told you who I am.  Introduced me out and all of that right good, because I'm not doing that. I was sneaking up on him. Drew my sword. sssshhhhiiiiiiinnnnnggggggg. He turned and my sword point was on his neck.  Of course he didn't really have a long neck. It was just really fat. And ugly.
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